Have you ever wondered what it would be like if your team was replaced by Star War characters? Every day you’d come to the office and you’d pass by a moaning Sebulba in the front desk or you’d share a hot coffee and a doughnut with Jabba the Hutt at the office kitchen. Well, we also keep daydreaming about lightsabers and four-winged spaceships, trauting that iconic cantine song every time we go to the common area during lunch. So, we set a list of Star Wars characters and who they would be in your office.
— R2D2 —
Efficient and loyal to their team (has been there for ages), is a person of very few words. Goes by unnoticed at the corner of the room near the old printer that nobody uses anymore. Every once in a while, you can hear some weird noises in the office, and to this day nobody knows if they come from them or the machine. Usually, they’re the one bringing the important messages.
—Luke Skywalker —
Their colleagues see them as a leader. The board sees them as a new hope for the company — the Senior Dev Lead sees them almost as their child. Their Github is pristine. The model programmer, always willing to give a hand helping the team. Constantly uses the command line shell commands to get to the Source. Had a phase where they would apply the dark theme everywhere.
—Chewbacca —
Nobody can understand the code they write — naming variables as if they had fallen asleep on top of the keyboard. Usually relies on brute force, when the algorithm is not returning what it’s supposed to. Surprisingly enough, everything works in the end.
— Darth Vader —
Senior Dev Lead. Ambitious. Power went to their head. The programmer that once believed in an open source world is long gone — they surrendered to the Microsoft Empire “Freedom is cool, but it is not reliable”. They have their own office separated from the rest of the team and when they come to the room, you know something really terrible is about to happen. They don’t use sudo, they are sudo.
—Han Solo —
They’re the team’s hotshot. Fastest programmer on the team. For years they lived off Hackathon prizes and some freelance projects here and there, not loving the concept of working in a team. Legend has it that they developed a web scraper that verifies and registers daily the prices of car pieces in less than 23 minutes. If in Grooming they estimate a week of work, they deliver it in three days. Usually, their code has one or two bugs that are only found later on. If it wasn’t for the pair programming with Chewbacca, they would have probably been fired a long time ago.
—Rey —
Got out of college just three months ago and is still trying to understand what the hell is going on. They come full of ideas and energy to change the world. Colleagues still don’t know where they came from very well. They represent everything that is right and wrong with the new generation of millennial developers.
—C3PO —
That older colleague that makes every interaction a bit awkward trying to look cool and hip, but that knows ancient languages like COBOL and Pascal better than anyone else. One time, the team gathered for some beers after work and C3PO made the robot dance. Has a prosthesis.
—Boba Fett —
Team’s QA. They made their life’s mission to seek and find errors in the code. Any misstep from the Devs and Boba Fett is there to punish them. The bugs can run, but the bugs can’t hide. Han Solo hates them.
— Lando Calrissian —
The “double-screen” type. In one of the monitors they have the Visual Studio open, in the other LinkedIn. They’ve never been in the same company for more than six months. If the paycheck is higher, they do not hesitate before joining another team.
—Yoda —
The theoretical one. Spends their days reading about programming methodologies. Once did a Test Driven Development (TDD) workshop and now insists in always starting coding by the end.
—Jar Jar Binks —
[Segmentation Fault] Team’s scapegoat. Their poor communication skills don’t do them any favor, but everytime something goes wrong, they’re the one being thrown under the bus.
—Leia Organa —
Dr. “pulls-a-few-strings”. Has a brother that was already working in the company when they joined and they’re having an affair with a management team member. Doesn’t contribute much for the team but you can never say anything without risking a tantrum. Team’s little princess.
—Admiral Ackbar —
Trusts nothing and no one. Legend has it that to this day they never accepted one Cookie.
—Darth Maul —
They appeared in a troubled time for the company. People saw great potential in them and some believed they could be a leader one day. Maybe the pressure was too heavy as they went down in a dark spiral, divided between bureaucracy and management work. Nobody has seen them since.
—Storm Trooper —
They came from an IT Consultancy company where for the past ten years they had been limited to copying and pasting code in .Net for a big corporate client. Anything remotely outside of what they have done before and it is a complete shot in the dark. Still comes to work wearing a suit and tie. It is not rare to see them bashing their head against the wall in despair.
—Ewoks —
Summer interns. All way too small and similar-looking. Nobody remembers their names.
—Obi-Wan Kenobi —
They were once the best developer of the team. Master of the coding craft, GitBlame shows their name more than anyone else’s. They now spend their days between meetings and only do micromanagement.
— Kylo Ren —
Their days are passed licking their boss’s ass, trying to mimic every step they take. If the boss buys a certain watch, Kylo Ren will come to the office the next day with the exact same one. Has absolutely no problem throwing a teammate under the bus if that makes them look better to Management. Thinks they’re way better than they really are. Nobody really likes them.
—Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious —
The UX/UI. Borderline bipolar, they assume two different personalities. On one hand they want everybody to behave the way they intended, to have every user under their control. On the other side, they’re a Font-sensitive creature that will make you pay if the button is slightly misaligned. They’re one of the Devs’ greatest fears. It is not unusual to see them creeping behind the Devs with a smirk whispering “Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen”.
Do you think these are accurate depictions? Did we miss anyone?
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